Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Writing Gods Are On Vacation

Where I do not know, but honest to God, I had to post this.

I have come to the conclusion the universe is sharing some of the greatest things ever written for amusement. And I appreciate this gift because we are fortunate in it.

First, in my earlier post, we had the poor author who lost her mind over a review that was anything but bad.

Second, thank you Smart Bitches, Trashy Books for bringing Walkin' Dusty Roads to my attention.

One of the most important rules in writing is limiting the amount of metaphors you use. A couple here and there are fine, but one almost every sentence? Really cheesy, dorky ones? Oh yeah, that is proof, that in this instance, the writing gods are on vacation. When crap is published I will be the first to admit I get pissed I am busting my hump, but at the same time I love it. The world does not need only Shakespeare, we need authors that spew the purple prose. Or do we?
Let me be clear that I will be downloading the free sample onto my Kindle later in the hopes of discovering more dandy lines like the ones that follow:

"Dusty took her in like a vista, her full, round breasts straining for freedom like corralled wild horses"

"Dusty’s intense blue eyes were like a cobalt summer sky, and she suddenly imagined herself flat on her back in a verdant field, languidly staring up at the cloudless day."

"The areolas stared at him like dark, exotic eyes." *note- one is an areola, plural is areolae

"They kissed deeply, their mouths like sensual open caves, tongues swirling madly, thoughtlessly."

MASTER METAPHOR IS A HAPPY MAN!

Cheers!
MissFifi

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