Saturday, January 29, 2011

Blah and Bleech


Ever have one of those days where you sort of fall to the wayside and cannot get back up? I am having that and it sucks. It is in my nature to be over sensitive and take things personally and I have struggled with it for a long time. I was much much much worse when I was in my twenties and there are many who could vouch. Of course, as we age, we do our best to improve, but when a stumbling block hits you, you spiral back, becoming that over defensive, insulted twenty five year old all over again.

I covered an old Ikea chair and I gathered the material on the sides. Thought it looked good and brought it down to the living room, all proud if how I wielded a heavy duty stapler. At first my husband liked it until he saw the sides and said, "You did not cut all the material?" In a snit, I swooped it up and brought it back up to the office, aggravated and pissed. Now I have to decide if I am going to rip it out and start over. Immediately I go to the bratty line of thinking,"If you do not like it, you do it." I think most of us would, but instead I simmer upstairs and vent on a blog. Not much maturity in that either, but hey, it is my blog and I will use it how I see fit.

I am also crabby because I have been editing "Cleaning House" again, finding mistakes, correcting them and wishing I was secluded in a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains working. For what it is worth, sure I can work at home and I do, but there is a lot to be said for focus and quiet. The idea of working all day without interruption to do laundry, cooking, taking the dog out or dishes would be ideal. Dream on you say and I am. I have found some artists some retreats, but a few require a fee or that you have been published already. I do not want to spend our already stretched budget on such a thing so I need to see if I can get a grant or find a place where I can earn my stay. In the meantime I should utilize the office more and remind my household that when I am in there with the door shut, I am working and to please leave me alone.

Stay warm if you are where the snow is and cool if you are in the heat.


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